Self-Identity Paper

My-Linh Phan

ED 493-Observation and Evaluation

10/5/12

 

Self-Identity: I am

I am My-Linh Phan

the name alone means A Beautiful Soul

It means love, and hope – my parents’ gift when I joined this world

I am my father’s son

the one he never has – so he brought me up like one

I could ride a Vespa by 13, fix my house electricity system by 12

and had the instinct to love and protect my mother with all my heart

I am my mother’s daughter

the one she lives her life for – her best friend, soul mate, heartache & pride

We share stories, hide nothing! – though, it was her greatest regret

“I took away your childhood; the right to be foolish, immature & thoughtless...”

But I thank her for her “mistake”

For I couldn’t stand the thought of any other alternatives 

to the "us" we have today

I am the Vietnamese girl, who travels the world alone since fourteen

the one who wears beautiful red velvet shoes, tirelessly dances around the globe

It was a curse – for a female child to travel so far, learn plentiful, read too often and

feel too much

I never feel like I belong to any particular place

but my hometown, the ancient one, the sleepy one, my only Hanoi

And it is alright to always be the foreigner

I know one day I will come back to where I started:

home
I am a lover of life

the one who creates and captures moments that make life worthwhile

with her over-priced camera. But no! I am not a photographer. 

I draw but am not an artist. I cook but am not a chef.

- Just a girl who enjoys bringing life to innate materials.

One day,

I will be an amazing mother, who loves and adores her children

A passionate and inspiring teacher, with springs in her steps

who sees the potentials in every student, and stops at nothing to help them "get there"

A happy woman, with a small pretty home and many pairs of fine-looking heels

worn out by all her amazing adventures around this whole wide world.

 

Each part of me, my characteristics both good and bad, create a collection of colors waiting to be used on a canvas to present to the public. As the painter holding the brush, I can choose which paints to represent myself with and which to leave in the cups on the floor. Surely using all of the colors will leave the canvas too messy and shades will clash. Surely, some of the shades of blue I possess will leave my audience with a raised eyebrow. Nevertheless, instead of picking and choosing what to display and what to keep off the final work, I proudly present myself as the whole. This is me, with every bit of imperfection, an in-a-process work of art that is still waiting to be refined. 

 The poem above was a collection of my fragmented thoughts, the answer to the question of my identity. This is the "Ms. Linh" I would like my students to know and remember - someone who is fun and inspiring; someone who doesn't forget how it feels like to be a 3rd grader - someone whom they can relate to despite the age gap; someone whom they can feel comfortable enough to be exactly who they are, say exactly what they think without the fear of being judged. I believe this is also one of my goals as a future educator. I am determined to provide my students with a nurturing and safe environment where they have no fear of making errors and enjoy the excitement of learning from their mistakes.

My greatest fear about being a teacher is to fail my students' trust in one way or another. It can be anything: unintentionally break a promise, carelessly give hurtful remarks that scar them... It is a blessing to be loved by your students. However, once you are entrusted with such adoration and respect, you carry with you the responsible to safeguard and treasure that precious gift. Furthermore, I am also afraid to fail their expectation. Certain developments are acquired more easily during certain sensitive period (window opportunity). I do not want to waste their time and chances not learning something new, not constantly growing, and mastering a new skill. A child's development and experience at school play a crucial part in shaping their attitude toward life and building their characteristics for the future. As I recognize the importance of our roles at school, I am indeed afraid to make any mistake that leaves a lifelong negative impact to my students' future.

I am determined to enhance the learning experience the students in Vietnam. In 5 years time, I would like to see myself working for Vietnam Ministry of Education. I sincerely honor and appreciate the traditional approach toward education that is currently in use in my motherland right now. Thanks to my teachers’ emphasis on hard work, on strict guidance, on countless of assessments and competitions, I grew up to be the strong leader that I am today. However, now that I have been educated abroad and become more well-informed, I am aware that there are different paths: much less painful and emotionally draining for my students to learn. There are different approaches which all students’ talents and strengths are appreciated. As a nation, Vietnam has grown up and out of the old mold, which helps us reconstruct our society after the war. There is a need for changes for the better and the time is now. I want to be a part of this educational reform.

However, ultimately, my professional goal is to work with and inspire the next generation of teachers. We will change Vietnam, and eventually, the world we are living in, one teacher at a time.

 

Room 012

Room 012.
"In the basement of Southern Oregon University's Education and Psychology building, at the end of a quiet, empty, mostly beige hall, an explosion of color and eclectic ideas greets anyone who glances into Room 012."

A few days ago, one of the professor of SOU - School of Education passed away.

I did not have the privilege to benefit from her passion for education or her knowledge. Never took her class, never got a chance to converse, I could not even put an image to her name when I read the letter, sent from the Dean informing her final departure.

But I remember Room 012.

All the way down in the basement of the PsyEd building, where the bleach, lifeless corridor remained silent like a secret, there was a heaven filled with things that made we smile. I passed by her room every single day I had class. It was always a rush - I was always late or a minute early. I had always wonder whose teacher office it was for the outburst of color, children paintings, the vibrant classroom tools were just a treat to my eyes. I always meant to stop by and let her know I loved her room. I always meant to drop in and introduced myself - just because. But I always rushed and never stopped to say "Thank you" for the way her heaven brightened up my days.

Today I found her blog - the blog of a writer, an educator who loved children and found this in one of her entry

"They are all dead: my mother a year ago this month, Sugar in September, Aunt Mildred several years ago, and even in my dreams I cannot find them. Once we were The Four Musketeers and now I am the only one left to remember the fun we had in our matching black watch plaid jumpers and purple shoes. I am the only one who can picture the four of us in gingerbread man bathing suits with ruffled bottoms. The only one who knows about the gardenias we bought at Union Station. Holidays are fraught with memories of what once was and will never be again and it is easy to be sad. But this morning shortly after I awoke, while I was feeling sad and looking for work to distract me, I found this quotation from Patsy Cline in my mother’s handwriting: “You don’t get anywhere wallerin’ in misery.” And that’s the message I’ll remember when I think of this dream.

What have you lost? What have you found?

Pain comes like the weather, but joy is a choice. • Rodney Crowell"

Rest in Peace, Professor Wilkins-O’Riley Zinn. No longer will you have to seek in your dreams the faces of the 3 Musketeers you loved. Now join them in heaven and watch over us - the upcoming teachers of the future, your students who are on their roads of creating a world full of "things that make children smile".

Children Around the World