ON BECOMING A TEACHER

ON BECOMING A TEACHER

One day I believe, one of my students will take this torch from my hand and run for her lap. She will, in turn, go all the extra miles to bring this little sparkle of hope – warm as the fire and bright as the sun to share with her students who are still in the darkness of ignorance and the coldness of indifference. One day, I believe, the story of how I became a teacher will be passed forward to another generation of students. They will learn about the teachers who stopped at nothing to ensure the future of her student as well as the student, who was saved and inspired to be the teacher she is today. When that day comes, I will join my teachers, Ms. Julie Wee and Ms. Josephine Lin to welcome them in this profession of life-long learners, educator who never ever give up on any of our students.

Believe it or not, what we teach isn’t just content. What we give isn’t just knowledge. Like the parents who hold the child’s hand at first to teach him walk, who watch over his safety yet allow him to grow by falling hard onto the ground, who eventually, learn to let go and see him run away from their protection, teachers are the same. Certainly, it is our responsibility to equip the students with skills and knowledge and prepare them for the real world outside of school. However, I could not help but wonder: how many people actually use chemistry or physic theory in their daily lives, how many people talk literature, examine rocks or watch the turning of the stars – yet at the same time, what actually motivates an ordinary student to study Biology and becomes a doctor, who saves thousand lives. No matter what subject we teach, it has never been solely the subject content that matters but rather the thirst for knowledge that we want to cultivate in our students. In my opinion, an effective teacher is an educator who evokes students’ doubts, inspires them to challenge their understanding and explore the alternatives to find the answer that uniquely belongs to them. This teacher, who gradually makes himself redundant in his students’ learning experience, is actually the most effective educator, academically. Miss Josephine Lin, my high school Literature teacher, was such an inspiration like this to me. She pulled me away from my comfort zone of “it is hot” and “I was sad” to the extreme end of “the sky is burning” and “I am drowning in despair”. Literature, the intimidating subject in which I failed again and again became my source of power and my passion. Before I even noticed, I started writing my own poems – the stories I did not know how to tell, the tale I once failed to express. Before I knew it, she no longer walked with me but watched me from afar as I ventured further to deepen my knowledge in the arts. She was indeed, one of the best teachers I ever had.

Furthermore, the students’ development does not just evolve around his math and science, literature and humanities; neither is his success defined by the mere A, B or C in his report card. It would be regretful if teachers forsaken the students’ emotional growth for academic achievement. More than often, we blame our students for what they cannot do rather than praise them for what they can and the effort they put. From the very beginning of literacy, poor readers are accused of “not trying hard enough” – little did we know, it was the brain pattern, an inborn feature just like our crooked teeth and rough skin, which prevented them from reciting poems as much as they want to. A true teacher is someone who has the heart for the student, who knows the student’s emotional growth like the palm of her hands and help them overcome their self-doubts. When I was at the last year of secondary school, before the final examination, my best friend committed suicide. Dumbfounded, shocked, struck by the overwhelming despair, I lost my focus in class. My scholarship was in danger of being taken away. My form teacher gave up on my uncontrollable and frequent outbursts. Had it not been for Ms. Julie Wee, I would not know what my life could be right now. Ever patient, ever kind, she would stay late after school to help me catching up with my lessons. She would lend her shoulders and allow me to cry without telling me to “toughen up” and “stop the commotion”. Step by step she brought my feet back to the ground. This “under achiever”- a name branded by the school, went into top 5% scorers nation wise. I was able to keep my scholarship and moved on to college with the precious lesson to love, and to let go.  

The story of how I became a teacher was simple. It was almost similar to the one of Ms. Lin and many other teachers before us. When I found out that the teacher who once saved Ms. Lin from a hyperactive student to the amazing teacher she is today was Ms. Julie Wee, I know it must be fate that I am indebted to pass this gift forward.

There will come a time, when I will not be able to recall all the literal devices taught in class, when I can no longer recite Shakespeare’s The Tempest or Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid Tale. Even when that time comes, when everything changes, certainly there is something that forever remains. In my heart, I will always remember my ardent love for learning everything that is new; my greed for acquiring knowledge - the treasures of the world beyond my own. I will remember how simple lesson holds magic - the elation at "owning" a foreign word, tucking it safe and sound into my brain, copying song lyrics over and over, yet barely understanding its meaning. Above all, I will always remember the thunderous shatter of my fear for the unfamiliar – the wall my teachers taught me to conquer. I will forever remember my teachers, who inspired me to be better than who I ever thought I could be - the teacher I dream to be. 

Self-Identity Paper

My-Linh Phan

ED 493-Observation and Evaluation

10/5/12

 

Self-Identity: I am

I am My-Linh Phan

the name alone means A Beautiful Soul

It means love, and hope – my parents’ gift when I joined this world

I am my father’s son

the one he never has – so he brought me up like one

I could ride a Vespa by 13, fix my house electricity system by 12

and had the instinct to love and protect my mother with all my heart

I am my mother’s daughter

the one she lives her life for – her best friend, soul mate, heartache & pride

We share stories, hide nothing! – though, it was her greatest regret

“I took away your childhood; the right to be foolish, immature & thoughtless...”

But I thank her for her “mistake”

For I couldn’t stand the thought of any other alternatives 

to the "us" we have today

I am the Vietnamese girl, who travels the world alone since fourteen

the one who wears beautiful red velvet shoes, tirelessly dances around the globe

It was a curse – for a female child to travel so far, learn plentiful, read too often and

feel too much

I never feel like I belong to any particular place

but my hometown, the ancient one, the sleepy one, my only Hanoi

And it is alright to always be the foreigner

I know one day I will come back to where I started:

home
I am a lover of life

the one who creates and captures moments that make life worthwhile

with her over-priced camera. But no! I am not a photographer. 

I draw but am not an artist. I cook but am not a chef.

- Just a girl who enjoys bringing life to innate materials.

One day,

I will be an amazing mother, who loves and adores her children

A passionate and inspiring teacher, with springs in her steps

who sees the potentials in every student, and stops at nothing to help them "get there"

A happy woman, with a small pretty home and many pairs of fine-looking heels

worn out by all her amazing adventures around this whole wide world.

 

Each part of me, my characteristics both good and bad, create a collection of colors waiting to be used on a canvas to present to the public. As the painter holding the brush, I can choose which paints to represent myself with and which to leave in the cups on the floor. Surely using all of the colors will leave the canvas too messy and shades will clash. Surely, some of the shades of blue I possess will leave my audience with a raised eyebrow. Nevertheless, instead of picking and choosing what to display and what to keep off the final work, I proudly present myself as the whole. This is me, with every bit of imperfection, an in-a-process work of art that is still waiting to be refined. 

 The poem above was a collection of my fragmented thoughts, the answer to the question of my identity. This is the "Ms. Linh" I would like my students to know and remember - someone who is fun and inspiring; someone who doesn't forget how it feels like to be a 3rd grader - someone whom they can relate to despite the age gap; someone whom they can feel comfortable enough to be exactly who they are, say exactly what they think without the fear of being judged. I believe this is also one of my goals as a future educator. I am determined to provide my students with a nurturing and safe environment where they have no fear of making errors and enjoy the excitement of learning from their mistakes.

My greatest fear about being a teacher is to fail my students' trust in one way or another. It can be anything: unintentionally break a promise, carelessly give hurtful remarks that scar them... It is a blessing to be loved by your students. However, once you are entrusted with such adoration and respect, you carry with you the responsible to safeguard and treasure that precious gift. Furthermore, I am also afraid to fail their expectation. Certain developments are acquired more easily during certain sensitive period (window opportunity). I do not want to waste their time and chances not learning something new, not constantly growing, and mastering a new skill. A child's development and experience at school play a crucial part in shaping their attitude toward life and building their characteristics for the future. As I recognize the importance of our roles at school, I am indeed afraid to make any mistake that leaves a lifelong negative impact to my students' future.

I am determined to enhance the learning experience the students in Vietnam. In 5 years time, I would like to see myself working for Vietnam Ministry of Education. I sincerely honor and appreciate the traditional approach toward education that is currently in use in my motherland right now. Thanks to my teachers’ emphasis on hard work, on strict guidance, on countless of assessments and competitions, I grew up to be the strong leader that I am today. However, now that I have been educated abroad and become more well-informed, I am aware that there are different paths: much less painful and emotionally draining for my students to learn. There are different approaches which all students’ talents and strengths are appreciated. As a nation, Vietnam has grown up and out of the old mold, which helps us reconstruct our society after the war. There is a need for changes for the better and the time is now. I want to be a part of this educational reform.

However, ultimately, my professional goal is to work with and inspire the next generation of teachers. We will change Vietnam, and eventually, the world we are living in, one teacher at a time.

 

Room 012

Room 012.
"In the basement of Southern Oregon University's Education and Psychology building, at the end of a quiet, empty, mostly beige hall, an explosion of color and eclectic ideas greets anyone who glances into Room 012."

A few days ago, one of the professor of SOU - School of Education passed away.

I did not have the privilege to benefit from her passion for education or her knowledge. Never took her class, never got a chance to converse, I could not even put an image to her name when I read the letter, sent from the Dean informing her final departure.

But I remember Room 012.

All the way down in the basement of the PsyEd building, where the bleach, lifeless corridor remained silent like a secret, there was a heaven filled with things that made we smile. I passed by her room every single day I had class. It was always a rush - I was always late or a minute early. I had always wonder whose teacher office it was for the outburst of color, children paintings, the vibrant classroom tools were just a treat to my eyes. I always meant to stop by and let her know I loved her room. I always meant to drop in and introduced myself - just because. But I always rushed and never stopped to say "Thank you" for the way her heaven brightened up my days.

Today I found her blog - the blog of a writer, an educator who loved children and found this in one of her entry

"They are all dead: my mother a year ago this month, Sugar in September, Aunt Mildred several years ago, and even in my dreams I cannot find them. Once we were The Four Musketeers and now I am the only one left to remember the fun we had in our matching black watch plaid jumpers and purple shoes. I am the only one who can picture the four of us in gingerbread man bathing suits with ruffled bottoms. The only one who knows about the gardenias we bought at Union Station. Holidays are fraught with memories of what once was and will never be again and it is easy to be sad. But this morning shortly after I awoke, while I was feeling sad and looking for work to distract me, I found this quotation from Patsy Cline in my mother’s handwriting: “You don’t get anywhere wallerin’ in misery.” And that’s the message I’ll remember when I think of this dream.

What have you lost? What have you found?

Pain comes like the weather, but joy is a choice. • Rodney Crowell"

Rest in Peace, Professor Wilkins-O’Riley Zinn. No longer will you have to seek in your dreams the faces of the 3 Musketeers you loved. Now join them in heaven and watch over us - the upcoming teachers of the future, your students who are on their roads of creating a world full of "things that make children smile".

Children Around the World

Philosophy Statement for Music Education

à“What’s the good of music?” – Too caught up in our struggle to make ends meet in the competitive world today, we - the adults often find ourselves belittling the value of music and music education. However, we may forget that a child who is able to say no to hanging out with his friends after school just so he can return home and practice his piano piece until he perfects every single note today, is not likely to grow up and become someone who is easily distracted from his goal. A child who will stop whatever she is doing at the moment to pay attention a fine tune over the radio is not likely to grow up and become a person who is apathetic to beauty.  In my opinion, music and music education does not only play a crucial role in nurturing a child’s appreciation of beauty but also teaches him admirable values that would benefit his entire life time. 

àI cannot help but completely agree with Billy Joel’s opinion: “Music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.” Music does wonder to the human’s soul. Classical music has been proved by science to stimulate and aid the development of infants’ brain. The mother’s lullaby can calm an upset baby, stop him from his tantrum. Music brings happiness, thus it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say that the music education is the teaching of another form of communication. If we take away music education from our children, we are robbing them of an opportunity to convey their heart message in such a delicate and subtle way – but not any less sincere than blatant words.

àFurthermore, music education teaches children every single value that we ever want to instill in their innocent minds and shape their belief system in such an enjoyable way. As care givers, we have choices. We can tell our children a thousand stories again and again about what hard-working and will power means or we can sparkle their interest with a beautiful tune, show them how to recreate such amazing music(,) and watch them put these values in practice with music as the new companion. Isn’t it true? To teach a child to master a piano piece is to teach him patience and determination. To teach a child to put her all emotions in a song is to teach her sincerity and wholeheartedness.

àSo how exactly a music education benefits my child, many people may still wonder. But the answer lies within each and every fortunate child whose  soul is touched by the beauty of music. To this future pianist, music may soon be his entire world, his power, his fame. To another future banker, music may be his much-needed escape from the competitive world he has to face every single day. However to this particular future janitor, music merely means the reason why she would be able to stop thinking about her a long exhausting day and the piles of bills accumulating on the top of her empty fridge to sing a little tune from an old song of the past – the particular tune which never fails to bring her joy.

Professor Fredna Grimland - My-Linh:  A beautifully written paper!  Thank you. (A)

Practicum - Final Reflection, Winter'11

Final Reflection, Winter'11

My experience in Ashland High School revolves around the six dispositions required by the SOU Elementary Education Program, namely: (1) demonstrating the ethic of caring, (2) functioning as a researcher and learner, (3) manifesting traits of collaborations and leadership, (4) demonstrating awareness and respect diversity (5) working as a reflective decision maker, last but not least (6) communicating effectively in speaking, writing and through technology. One by one they make the hazy picture of what it means to be a teacher much more defined. As they closely interlink, one cannot help but attempt to achieve all six aspects with the best intention to best benefit the students– and I was no exception.

(2) Every time I stood in side a class room or the Learning Center in Ashland High School, I reminded myself this is a learning experience. Coming from a totally different culture and education back ground, I was not familiar with the American government studies, philosophy, especially how English is taught to the native speakers. My work in the Learning center required me to approach students with learning disabilities (most often, ADD or ADHD) and help them with their assignments. As I stumbled upon sophisticated terminologies and subject-centric readings, I found myself becoming a leaner (from my own students) and a researcher (for personal reference). It was always a pleasure to make a “deal” with my students. Both of us would research about any particular point we could not understand to share with one another the next day. Since knowledge is limitless, there is no shame in admitting your shortcoming. I learned that, by telling the students: “I am sorry, but I do not have any definite explanation to your questions” and adding:”However, if I were you, sitting in the examination hall without any ideas how to solve this math problem, this is what I would do”; I was able to teach my students problem solving skills. Hopefully, the next time they face an unfamiliar challenge, they will be able to tackle it step by step and find their own answer.

While the second disposition highlights a personal growth, the following characteristic draw attention to a team effort. It is also crucial to (3) manifest traits of collaborations and leadership as a teacher. The greatest collaboration must be the one between a teacher and her students, in which the students are the proactive instructor. As a teacher work with her students on a certain project, they form collaboration. In my experience in the Special Education Class, many time, I found myself denying the fact that understand the concept while reading the text with my students. In this manner, I was able to appoint a new leader of our study group who would guide us through the assignment. Leadership is important for emotionally fragile children in many ways. A successful “mission” accompanied by praises, will certainly boost many students’ confidence. Sometime, after making such a difficult decision, I questioned my methods and (5) reflect on my own rationale. On the first day that I came to Ms. Wahpepah’s Special Ed class, a student tried to kill herself the night before but fortunately failed to. Struck by the incident, I often remind myself to think twice before I give them a constructive comment. Even though, in good faith, teachers have no other intention that to guide the student in the correct road; it truly depends on the students’ mental wellness that they may consider our suggestions in a positive way. Constant reflections on every move we make, very decision we commit to does help teachers in their personal path to becoming an even better, more amazing source of guidance.

In my case of practicum, the fourth disposition (4) demonstrating awareness and respect diversity, takes another light. While diversity is often understood as the difference of colors, nationalities so on and so forth; diversity to me means the uniqueness of every child’s special need in my class. In order to help them, I first had to be conscious about their weaknesses, respect these difficulties as a part of them therefore approach them with the most suitable instructions. From the moment, the student walked into the classroom, the way he/she dressed, his tone and reactions to questions – all these little details become crucial for the teachers to guess how cooperative this student can be today. We do not want to push them over the edge, but at the same time, neither do we want to give up on their potentials. Understanding the students makes it very much easier for me to 6) communicate effectively in speaking, writing and through technology. It came to my attention that many students are able to read really well, but unable to understand more than 40% of what they read. There are also students who are unable to read fluently yet if we read to them and with them slowly, they impress us with their explanations for the concepts.  As different student has his/her own unique way of absorbing knowledge, it is only fair that we push away our one-method-fits-all instructions and make the difference within ourselves.

Though I acknowledge the importance of the dispositions above, my determination and passion for teaching in this practicum was driven by the first characteristic: (1) demonstrating the ethic of caring. I strongly believe, the ethical demonstration of caring was the red string that connect all the six dispositions together. I began my practicum without the intention to direct my focus into Special Education. Maybe, like my supervisor – Ms. Wahpepah said: “It was a call for my nature”. Special Ed has always been a big challenge, even for experienced educator. Due to the past trauma from which many students suffer, they do not let strangers into their circle of trust easily. However, as I joined them in their late tea time, as they allowed me to read their personal poems filled with unsettle nightmares and struggles, Ms. Wahpepah pointed out for me the reason why I was well-received by this special group of students. Unlike their peers, Special Need students are emotional fragile as they are able to see through the artificial mask of kindness and care many teachers and adults wear. It could be that they see the genuine inside me despite my lack of professional experience. It could be that they feel my best interest, which is none other than aiding their academic and emotional development. It could be that they find in me a friend rather than a superior figure. I do not have the perfect answer for this question. However, there is something I know for sure. If a message comes from a heart, it will certainly reach the other heart. Without the ethical demonstration of caring, all our efforts may come to waste as we already lost our students right at the very beginning.

Midterm Practicum Reflection, Winter 2011

Midterm Practicum Reflection

ED209 - Winter'11

Winter 2011 marks my first experience as an Education major, a future teacher. Under the close supervision of both Mr. Tim Cate, an English/ Literature and Philosophy teacher and Ms. Jennifer Wahpepah, a Special Education teacher for emotionally fragile students, I challenged myself to work with the junior and senior students in Ashland High School. My involvement in AHS included traditional classroom observation, tuition for ADD/ADHD students in Learning Center and Special Education class room assistance. Two week is truly a short period however, within that limited time spent in Ashland High School I was able to learn so much from my supervisors’ instructional strategies. Indeed, the best way a teacher can benefit his/her students is to devote his/her heart, mind and soul for the students’ all-rounded development.

First and foremost, I would like to discuss my observation of high school students’ traditional classroom behavior. At the age of sixteen to eighteen, most students are in the search of their identity. We can certainly tell by observing their clear attempt to express their individuality through different channels: fashion, involvement in club/activities… especially classroom behavior. On the positive side, many students want to show their maturity and deep thought through witty and sophisticated answers to teachers’ questions. However, on the other hand, many students find it “cool” to make fun of their friends’ mistake, wrong answer or even the teachers. This behavior highlights the students’ desire to prove themselves to the peers. Most often, teachers respect the student freedom of speech and allow them to express their opinions. However, once a student crosses the line, over jokes inappropriately, immediately the teacher need to address it to set sample to the whole class. In Mr. Cate’s class, he would talk directly to the student and express his disagreement to such behavior. However, I was also cautioned: rather than making the student feel ashamed, the teacher wanted to remind the student constructively of the correct code of conduct in the classroom.

Furthermore, high school students are at the age where they prioritize their social life and external opinions. Students tend to involve in private conversations during class time. Due to these characteristics of the students, it was definitely a big challenge to control the class noise level in order to both: facilitate meaningful discussion and ensure that students are on task. In my observation, an easily adopted method used by Mr. Tim Cate was the appropriate use of instructional volume. In his lessons, Mr. Cate clearly and firmly articulates his requirement and expectation to the students with high volume - thus when Mr. Cate suddenly stops or lowers down his voice, the students get the message immediately and keep quiet.

On another point, specifically for literature and philosophy, I observed that students struggle with English more than the subject itself. These subjects were not written for teenagers to easily understand, but required an extensive vocabulary and the intellectual capability to digest the information. Because of the challenging language, more often than often, students are unable to make sense of the words thus unable to connect them into the sentence meaning. It was understandable that many were disheartened. In order tackle this problem, student should be taught how to break down words by words or phrase by phrase with the effective use of dictionary in order to grasp the meaning. In this manner, they will enhance the comprehension skill and learn a lot of new, sophisticated term. Furthermore, what could be a better approach to make such intimidating subjects more relatable could be the approach to connect students’ daily life and issue with the philosophy. This would make it easier for them to remember and understand the concept.

While traditional classroom experience was rather predictable, my time in the special education environment was ever-changing and a lot more challenging. Every student has his/her uniqueness that unfortunately drives him/her away from his/her peers. Though the teachers were aware of their special need – however, far from predictable, they are easily affected by their surroundings. This leads to a wild fluctuation of moods. Compare their friends in traditional classrooms; Special Education students are more sensitive. When I first came to Ms. Jennifer Wahpepah’s class, one of her students were absent from school due to a failed suicidal attempt the night before. This event struck me with the realization of how fragile my students actually were. Many of them were caught up with the disappointment in the present life, the endless and inescapable presence. With this in mind, Ms. Wahpepah allowed every student to share their experience at the beginning of the class so that they could let out their emotions before class. This seemingly simple daily exercise achieved outstanding result. Students felt like they were truly cared for and had a healthy channel to express their concern in order to get the teachers’ feedback. Without it, students would not be able to concentrate on their work at all throughout the whole day. Moreover, many students let me know that they looked forward to class and would not want to miss school because this class was truly their home. I believe this is an admirable effort from the teachers. Ms. Jennifer Wahpepah was always willing to go the extra miles for her students to ensure their emotional well-being and academic improvement. I would like to be a teacher like this in the future.

Working with Special Need students taught me patience, articulation in explaining concepts but above all, the experience struck me with the epiphany of what it truly means being a teacher. Other than working with Ms. Wahpepah’s class, I started working in the learning centre with ADD/ADHD students, who were unable to concentrate on their task for substantial amount of time in order to complete their work. Class-address may not be the best way to give out instruction but rather private counseling and tutoring would work so much better. Every student I tutored was a new challenge and I always had to remind myself that – even though they suffered from the same syndrome, they were very different individuals with different reactions toward instructions. Therefore, from the moment every student step into the center, I spent time closely observe their actions, study their body language and listen carefully to their questions. These might sound redundant. However, it truly helped a lot in the decision – which method I should approach them in order to bring out the best result.

Two week is a short period of time. I always wished I could devote more effort into helping the students in Ashland High School. Thanks to my teachers/ supervisors, I came to the awareness of students’ individual needs as well as classroom control. It had been truly a tough path I chose, however, whenever I saw the sparkle of enlightenment in my students’ “I get it” moment, I believe all these challenge were worthwhile. Indeed, it did not only the hard work to get you there - it must be the heart work that connects you and your students. I am determined to become a teacher, who would bring out her students’ very best.