Practicum - Final Reflection, Winter'11

Final Reflection, Winter'11

My experience in Ashland High School revolves around the six dispositions required by the SOU Elementary Education Program, namely: (1) demonstrating the ethic of caring, (2) functioning as a researcher and learner, (3) manifesting traits of collaborations and leadership, (4) demonstrating awareness and respect diversity (5) working as a reflective decision maker, last but not least (6) communicating effectively in speaking, writing and through technology. One by one they make the hazy picture of what it means to be a teacher much more defined. As they closely interlink, one cannot help but attempt to achieve all six aspects with the best intention to best benefit the students– and I was no exception.

(2) Every time I stood in side a class room or the Learning Center in Ashland High School, I reminded myself this is a learning experience. Coming from a totally different culture and education back ground, I was not familiar with the American government studies, philosophy, especially how English is taught to the native speakers. My work in the Learning center required me to approach students with learning disabilities (most often, ADD or ADHD) and help them with their assignments. As I stumbled upon sophisticated terminologies and subject-centric readings, I found myself becoming a leaner (from my own students) and a researcher (for personal reference). It was always a pleasure to make a “deal” with my students. Both of us would research about any particular point we could not understand to share with one another the next day. Since knowledge is limitless, there is no shame in admitting your shortcoming. I learned that, by telling the students: “I am sorry, but I do not have any definite explanation to your questions” and adding:”However, if I were you, sitting in the examination hall without any ideas how to solve this math problem, this is what I would do”; I was able to teach my students problem solving skills. Hopefully, the next time they face an unfamiliar challenge, they will be able to tackle it step by step and find their own answer.

While the second disposition highlights a personal growth, the following characteristic draw attention to a team effort. It is also crucial to (3) manifest traits of collaborations and leadership as a teacher. The greatest collaboration must be the one between a teacher and her students, in which the students are the proactive instructor. As a teacher work with her students on a certain project, they form collaboration. In my experience in the Special Education Class, many time, I found myself denying the fact that understand the concept while reading the text with my students. In this manner, I was able to appoint a new leader of our study group who would guide us through the assignment. Leadership is important for emotionally fragile children in many ways. A successful “mission” accompanied by praises, will certainly boost many students’ confidence. Sometime, after making such a difficult decision, I questioned my methods and (5) reflect on my own rationale. On the first day that I came to Ms. Wahpepah’s Special Ed class, a student tried to kill herself the night before but fortunately failed to. Struck by the incident, I often remind myself to think twice before I give them a constructive comment. Even though, in good faith, teachers have no other intention that to guide the student in the correct road; it truly depends on the students’ mental wellness that they may consider our suggestions in a positive way. Constant reflections on every move we make, very decision we commit to does help teachers in their personal path to becoming an even better, more amazing source of guidance.

In my case of practicum, the fourth disposition (4) demonstrating awareness and respect diversity, takes another light. While diversity is often understood as the difference of colors, nationalities so on and so forth; diversity to me means the uniqueness of every child’s special need in my class. In order to help them, I first had to be conscious about their weaknesses, respect these difficulties as a part of them therefore approach them with the most suitable instructions. From the moment, the student walked into the classroom, the way he/she dressed, his tone and reactions to questions – all these little details become crucial for the teachers to guess how cooperative this student can be today. We do not want to push them over the edge, but at the same time, neither do we want to give up on their potentials. Understanding the students makes it very much easier for me to 6) communicate effectively in speaking, writing and through technology. It came to my attention that many students are able to read really well, but unable to understand more than 40% of what they read. There are also students who are unable to read fluently yet if we read to them and with them slowly, they impress us with their explanations for the concepts.  As different student has his/her own unique way of absorbing knowledge, it is only fair that we push away our one-method-fits-all instructions and make the difference within ourselves.

Though I acknowledge the importance of the dispositions above, my determination and passion for teaching in this practicum was driven by the first characteristic: (1) demonstrating the ethic of caring. I strongly believe, the ethical demonstration of caring was the red string that connect all the six dispositions together. I began my practicum without the intention to direct my focus into Special Education. Maybe, like my supervisor – Ms. Wahpepah said: “It was a call for my nature”. Special Ed has always been a big challenge, even for experienced educator. Due to the past trauma from which many students suffer, they do not let strangers into their circle of trust easily. However, as I joined them in their late tea time, as they allowed me to read their personal poems filled with unsettle nightmares and struggles, Ms. Wahpepah pointed out for me the reason why I was well-received by this special group of students. Unlike their peers, Special Need students are emotional fragile as they are able to see through the artificial mask of kindness and care many teachers and adults wear. It could be that they see the genuine inside me despite my lack of professional experience. It could be that they feel my best interest, which is none other than aiding their academic and emotional development. It could be that they find in me a friend rather than a superior figure. I do not have the perfect answer for this question. However, there is something I know for sure. If a message comes from a heart, it will certainly reach the other heart. Without the ethical demonstration of caring, all our efforts may come to waste as we already lost our students right at the very beginning.